A Jewish friend of mine remarked once, only half joking, that he believed Indians are the true Chosen People. With no offense to Moses, I had to agree. I lived in India for about three years and my husband currently known as my husPad, thanks to his appropriating the iPad he "gave me," -- but that is another column is from New Delhi, which, in addition to providing me with lots of Indian friends and in-laws, have given me a pretty good perspective on the desirability of the people from the world's largest democracy -- and how to woo them. Before getting to "how," let's start with "why.
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Every now and then, it can get tough for us; we must assimilate into American culture seamlessly, while simultaneously staying true to aspects of our native Hinduism. Still, it's this balance we are somehow gracefully able to maintain, which makes us so damn special. White girls go tanning to look like us, and come out of the tanning salon looking like clementines. Say no more if you have an ex you want to mess with or parents who recently cut you off; we'll take care of it. We'll prank call whoever has been messing with you and pretend to be an Indian take-out restaurant with our legit-sounding accents.
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